Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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