he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
