sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
