The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
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He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
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Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
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