remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize