Don't make out with my wife yet
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
