Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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