You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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