And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
