Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
