If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize