What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
