I want to have your abortion
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
