Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
