I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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