Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
