If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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