i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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