I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
