I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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