This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
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i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
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You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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