Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
