I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
