So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
