i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
