UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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