We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
