a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
