Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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