I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
