haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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