the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
