i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
