Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
