you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
