just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
