i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
