my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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