I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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