Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
