How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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