No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
