You're completely useless in the revolution.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
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He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
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So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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