I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
