I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
