I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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