Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
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