i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
