i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
