When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
