she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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