I would go down on you faster than GM stock
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks