i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life