So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off