Whod you bang
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha