Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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