she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
You need a sexual gate keeper
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
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