Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
