I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
